Who, What, Why, Where and How?

I've always had a curious nature. I have questions... special questions... not like "what's for dinner?" or "who took the last cookie that I was saving for later?" I mean BIG SPECIAL questions... questions to which no one has an answer. They're not questions that require long detailed answers. They're not questions that require an answer from someone who is highly trained in any special area. They're not hard questions... they're just special questions that I know I'll never get the answers to... never during my brief stay on this earth at least. I call them my God questions.

You see, I have a mental picture of the sequence of events that will happen after I die. I'm sure it's nothing like anyone else on earth's idea of dying and going to heaven, but  I think this is the way it'll happen to me. I'll stroll through the pearly gates as most envision the start of their heavenly adventure, and once on the other side, I'll be walking along a white sandy beach with crystal clear azure water. It won't be too hot... there'll be a slight breeze... sort of like the beach I love on St. John in the Virgin Islands. Enter God... holding an ice cold Boddington's beer just for me. Now, I don't drink a lot of beer, but I thoroughly enjoy a "good" beer from time to time, with Boddington's being my favorite. I think when Debbie does the pearly gate walk, she'll probably walk the same beach as I, but God will probably have a big ice cold glass of diet Pepsi. She'll have no worry over the aspartame in it and can drink as much as she wants unlike she should here on earth because she's going to grow a third arm out of her head with the crazy amount of diet Pepsi with aspartame in it she drinks now and is going to die early and leave me a widower with two kids to raise... STOP, I seem to have gotten sidetracked here. Sorry for that... let's rewind and not read that totally run-on ranting last sentence. Love you baby!

Anyway, it's at this point that I'll sit on a nice comfortable rock (Hey, it's heaven, rocks are going to be very comfortable) with the Almighty and finally have that question and answer session while we sip our beers. Yes, our beers, God will definitely be having an ice cold Boddington's with me. Mind you, I'll  have lots and lots of these God questions, but these will probably be the 10 most important on my list:

1. How did I do?
2. How's my dad?
3. Is there anyone not here that I expected would be?
4. How big is the universe... I know it's big, but I mean, like... how big?
5. Is there life on other planets? Are any of them like the Klingons?
6. Who killed John F. Kennedy? Why?
7. Did OJ kill his ex-wife and that other guy? How come the glove didn't fit?

8. Why do hot dog buns come in packages of 8 but hot dogs come in packages of 10?
9. Why did I only get a B in Math 305? 
10. Got any pretzels to go with this beer?